How to Be a Badass Parent
An interview with ‘The Badass Grandma’ who teaches parents how to keep kids safe
Abused as a child, sexually assaulted as a college freshman, and narrowly escaping human trafficking at age 19, C J Scarlet knows firsthand the world can be a dangerous place for kids and youth. That’s why she became ‘The Badass Grandma,’ devoting her life to protecting children and helping survivors of violence and abuse.
A parenting coach, author, and danger expert, Scarlet is one of those dynamic women you just can’t help liking — strong, passionate about her work and an eternal optimist. Her mission is to transform our kids into “little badasses who know how to avoid and deal with dangerous people.”
Scarlet has written several books for parents on child safety, and her newly released title focuses on older children. According to Scarlet, “Raising Badass Kids: The Savvy Parents’ Guide to Predator-Proofing Tweens & Teens,” is the new bible for parents looking to raise safe, savvy, confident kids. “It provides you with the tools to have candid conversations with your tween or teen without scaring them to death,” she says.
Becoming a Badass Parent!
“I have a history of child abuse myself and started dealing with it when I turned 30,” says Scarlet, who holds an interdisciplinary master’s degree in human violence, served as executive director of a child advocacy center for abused children, and worked with victims of crime as Director of Victims Issues for the NC Attorney General’s Office. And as a doting grandmother of “three precocious toddlers” she felt compelled to do more to help parents keep their children safe from predators.
Back in 2020, while most of us were binge watching Netflix, she published “Badass Parenting: An Irreverent Guide to Raising Safe, Savvy, Confident Kids,” and a PG version of the same book, “Heroic Parenting: An Essential Guide to Raising Safe, Savvy, Confident Kids.”
These books are geared towards parents of kids ages 0–9 and as the author explains, “they’re written to help you transform your kids into little badasses who know how to avoid and deal with dangerous people.” Topics range from bullying, sexual abuse, and kidnapping to digital dangers and human trafficking.
fight like a rabid Tasmanian devil
Scarlett offers parents advice according to the age of the child, including teaching kids when to “fight like a rabid Tasmanian devil” if they need to get away from somebody.
Trust your intuition
“The key is teaching children how to trust their intuition, set, maintain and defend boundaries, and learn how to say no to adults and older kids who might be exploiting or abusing them,” she says. The aim is to empower kids with the knowledge to recognize when they’re being groomed and teaching them that they can take action to protect themselves. “Badass is not just about self-defense techniques, but also learning to trust intuition.”
Human trafficking
At age 19, Scarlet narrowly escaped the horrific fate of being lured into a human trafficking ring by two acquaintances. They promised her a ‘too
good to be true’ opportunity and a man tried to assault her. She thankfully managed to escape the situation.
“It was 15 years before I heard the term human trafficking,” she says. “I realized there was no man looking for some obscure mistress in a little cow town in Arkansas like they told me. Instead, they were planning to get me down to Florida, get me hooked on drugs and put me on the streets. I was horrified. I didn’t tell anyone for 10 years.”
Scarlet explains that this is how predators work, targeting people who are less likely to set boundaries, try to escape or report it. “I had been a very passive victim before, so I was proud of myself for running away,” she says. “They know who to look for and target those who are going to make nice because they want affection, attention or are too scared to tell.”
Kids in foster care, runaways, homeless children, and homeless youth are often the targets. And they don’t always attack right away, taking their time to groom the victim. This is still a common problem — human trafficking remains the third largest crime industry in the world, behind drugs and arms trafficking.
“I realized there was no man looking for some obscure mistress in a little cow town in Arkansas like they told me. Instead, they were planning to get me down to Florida, get me hooked on drugs and put me on the streets. I was horrified. I didn’t tell anyone for 10 years.”
Outwit predators
“My advice for young people is to always trust your gut,” says Scarlet. “We know when we feel uncomfortable but are taught to make nice. We’re taught to make everyone around us feel comfortable, so trusting intuition and setting and maintaining strong boundaries is the key.”
Scarlet’s earlier book was the award-winning and best-selling “The Badass Girl’s Guide: Uncommon Strategies to Outwit Predators,” published in 2017. “It’s a book for girls (15 and up) and women on how to detect and avoid predators — sexual predators in particular.”
Scarlet continues her work with survivors of child abuse, domestic violence, and sexual assault. She also volunteers for SAFEchild’s Funny Tummy Program, which teaches 1st graders how to say no and who to tell if they encounter dangerous people.
Her optimism alone is empowering not to mention all the wisdom and advice she shares. And if you have kids, you may want to order one of her books — it could be a lifesaver.
Check out C J Scarlet’s website at: www.cjscarlet.com and www.thebadassgrandma.com
“Raising Badass Kids: The Savvy Parents’ Guide to Predator-Proofing Tweens & Teens,” is now available on Amazon.
In this book, you’ll learn about:
- The types of predators and how they groom their victims.
- Advice on dealing with bullying/cyberbullying, online dangers, sexual molestation and assault, and sex trafficking.
- How to teach your child about sexual consent, so they don’t become an inadvertent victim or perpetrator.
- How to boost your child’s confidence (the #1 predator repellent!).
- What to do when the abuser is a partner or family member.
- What & how to teach your kid about body safety.
- Empowering kids with disabilities to keep them safe.
- Teaching your kid to fight like “Taz” to escape dangerous situations.
- Using daily sharing & monthly family meetings to bond with your child and let them know you have their back.
